Day 9: How Will They Know?

Wish 9: Trustworthiness

There is a Filipino foreign worker who was working his shift as a food counter supervisor when his left leg buckled. He was brought to hospital and he went through some tests. It took a while and a few procedures to find out that he has a brain tumor. It is malignant. His father was contacted.

The father took his retirement savings and got a ticket to Canada. Then, the mother followed after borrowing some money. They ran out of money and started asking fellow Filipinos for help, at least to cover their daily expenses only. (Thankfully, universal health care is covering almost all the medical expenses.)

Now, if I ask you for some money to help this family, it would be treated with some skepticism. There are too many electronic scams that sound similar. We cannot trust what looks like it was made up.

Now, assume this is real, and people begin to help. There are a lot of interested individuals. Most of them are concerned and genuinely want to help. Some of them see this as an opportunity for themselves. They can start showing off how they are Good Samaritans. They could also use the situation to further themselves economically. Those are the opportunistic vermin.

Some people are so charismatic that we trust them, even if what they say is too good to be true.

How will we know whom to trust? I don't have the answer. Even if we work strictly from facts, we cannot read motive. Only after the negative consequences do we begin to say, "I knew it was too good to be true," or someone will tell us, "I told you so."

That is why my wish for today is to have people we can trust; sincere and selfless people. Then, even the unusual stories and appeals could be trusted, and we are helping the right people.

[The story about the foreign worker is real. John Santiago is in Floor 16A, Room 300 of the Palliative Care unit of Vancouver General Hospital. Visit him if you can.]

Day 8: Man's Best Friend

Wish 8: Dog Heaven

This is for my daughter.

When she turned four, we took on a mangy Pekingese that was rescued from a highway on a rainy night. The dog responded to the name Chickey.

Chickey had a serial number branded in her ear. Based on that we found out that she was already 8 years old, and was up to date in her shots. However, over time, we discovered things from her past. She knew a lot of tricks, and she could still learn new ones.

She could bark and sit and approach on verbal and hand commands. My daughter never tired of calling our attention to her tricks. She grew up knowing only this pet as her own.



Then Chickey grew old. When she was 16, Chickey's health deteriorated. She couldn't climb the stairs anymore. Then she lost her hearing. She obeyed commands by looking at the hand gestures. Shouting could not get her attention.

One day, she started bumping into walls. She was blind. Before this gets more depressing, let me just say that we enjoyed one more Christmas with Chickey, who loved to be swaddled in a blanket. When she passed away last January, my daughter cried for days.

My daughter's wish, like any dog lover who has had a good dog will wish, is that there is a Dog Heaven.

Day 7: The Argument For Canadian Experience

Wish 7: Humility

I started working for a settlement office early in 2010. In these past months, I have met a lot of people who have just arrived. And some of them are angry from a culture shock.

"I was working for the Department of ....", one of them would start. "I was already a vice-president...", goes another. Now they take on entry-level jobs like receptionist or even food counter attendant. My ears get red from the phrase, "it's demeaning."

These newcomers are going through the "Canadian Experience". It is not an experience in itself. It just means they have to start somewhere for a few months - to get experience in a Canadian company - because they are just new to the country.

This is the biggest argument and point of contention when immigration is mentioned. "What about my credentials?!" some exclaim. Well, surprise, surprise. Your credentials in another country are not easily transferable here. Moreover, nobody really tells them that professional associations are protective of their own home-grown talents. Also, no boss wants their employee to be more qualified than they are.

Frustration is strongest with the skilled class. The bank vice-presidents, PhD's and architects have the most to lose. They take on a survival job. And sometimes, their spirit is so broken after a few years, they do not pursue anything else. There are doctors among the taxi drivers at the airport.

The influx of other countries' best and brightest into Canada's 8% unemployment situation is a recipe for disaster. Most will stay anyway, and some will return to their old countries and to their chauffeurs and maids.

On the other hand, the labourers and caregivers don't mind where they end up. They become successful after a few years. You see, they have nothing to lose. They expected to be at the bottom of the employment scale, so there's nowhere to go but up.

This argument for expectations is what prompted us to open a settlement office in the Philippines. Many agencies (and even relatives) extol the virtues and the beauty of Canada, leaving out the simple message that their first year here will be hell. Our office is there to provide a realistic view of Canada, so that it informs their decision-making. And if they still want to come over, then they know what to expect.

I will now make the argument for Canadian Experience. I know that many readers out there will think I'm nuts.

Now, what good could the "Canadian Experience" be to a newcomer? For me, it is a test. All of us have gone through it. When we come out the other side, we are not shaking our fist at the system. You see, those who are arrogant in this Canadian society are most likely to give up on it.

Canadian Experience teaches each of us humility. It helps us become part of the multicultural fabric of this experiment called Canada. It teaches us to be polite, like we are known for. It teaches us what we teach our children: say please, say thank you, say sorry. It teaches us to be human, and humane.

One successful immigrant got his dream job weeks after he arrived. He could have said to employers, "I am the right person for the job." But rather, he told them the facts about himself, and stopped short of concluding that he is the best. If the employer turned him down, he simply moved on to the next. "It's not my fault, and nothing to dwell upon," he would say, "it was just not a good fit." Eventually, his humility paid off. Now, he also consults on job finding.

People get hired in Canada in the job of their careers only when they get it. That being a hot-shot, arrogant know-it-all is the most unemployable person in a gentle society. When they get it, they have achieved the Canadian experience. And there is no where to go but up.

My wish for today is that people see the value of humility, not just for themselves but also for their community and country.

Day 6: Never Buy a Franchise

Wish 6: Honesty

My wife was crying when she hugged our employees. It was the last day of our fast food restaurant franchise. We tried to make it work for two years. But four situations made it impossible to stay afloat. Lucky for our five part-time employees, they had other jobs to focus on. My wife and I, well, we know what a foreclosed family in the USA feels like.

There is a big secret in food franchising and the restaurant industry within British Columbia.

The restaurants are suffering, but few admit that they are. You see, if they do admit, consumers are even less likely to visit their restaurants - speeding up their demise. Their franchisors do little to help them, because they don't have to worry about risk.

"How are things here?" we ask any restauranteur we visit. They always answer, "Good." But the empty tables at lunchtime tell a different story. Then, we see well-known restaurants close down. Ironically, another wannabe franchise takes over a few months later.

Four situations make this economic environment toxic for food franchises and restaurants.

First, the economic downturn in the USA of October 2008. Even though we are in Canada, the USA is our largest trading partner. It was just a matter of time before we felt the pinch. Consumers became cautious. Eating out is 'consumer discretionary spending', meaning consumers don't have to buy. In the Christmas seasons of 2008 and 2009, restaurant sales dropped as consumers focused their spending on gifts.

The second part of this perfect storm is the franchisors' response to the downturn. Since the eating-out industry is a smaller pie, they had to get a bigger piece of the pie to stay afloat. They responded with 'price points'. A price point is a price that appeals to the next price-sensitive consumer. For example, a typical meal would cost $6.99. The larger franchises started to offer meals at $5, $4, $3, $2, or even $1. If you had a choice of a full meal at $7 or a less filling meal at $2, I think you would go for the latter. Once that consumer is satisfied, he/she will not buy from the other restaurants for that meal, further contracting the restaurant industry.

The third condition was the most unlikely one. The Vancouver 2010 Olympics. This event pulled hundreds of thousands of people from all over BC into a small area in downtown Vancouver. There, consumers discovered the price points that their local restaurants were not offering. People were lining up for hotdogs and drinks at Costco for just $2. For the entire month of February 2010, sales in these few downtown fast foods and restaurants soured. To the detriment of restaurants outside that area. People got used to price points. They liked spending less for each meal.

At this point, there is an oversupply of restaurants. We don't need new restaurants.

The final death blow was the Harmonized Sales Tax or HST in July 1, 2010. The provincial government started collecting an extra 7% taxes from businesses, and restaurants had to pass it on to the consumer. Already reeling from the downturn, price points and Olympics phenomenon, smaller franchises raised their prices with the introduction of the HST, to hide the price increases. Consumers are not dumb. They noticed, and goodwill was lost.

By the time the HST was implemented, restaurants were already operating at about 50% their 2008 capacity. Many restaurant employees had already lost their jobs. The HST dropped sales a further 10-20%. The carnage continues.

Yet, every time we ask the owner of an empty restaurant how they are doing, the answer is always, "fine." To tell the truth could mean losing their life savings invested in the business. To tell the truth would also mean they could not sell the business to the next person who thinks he can do a better job at running a restaurant. I blame the Food Network for glamorizing the ownership of a restaurant.

For those who owned a franchise like ours, losing it is not a loss for the franchisor. The franchise agreements are so strong that franchisors always win. Franchisors are there to make money out of franchisees. Agreements are geared for that; all risk is transferred the franchisee. That is why I say, never buy a franchise.

If you are thinking of starting a business, plan well for it. Don't think a franchise is the easy way to get started. Go the tougher route: start it yourself. And for the moment, stay away from the food industry.

My wish today is for honesty. There is a lot of untruth in this industry because a lot of investment is at stake. The untruth is making more people fall into the trap of owning a business that is destined to failure.

Day 5: The Cost of a Fix

Wish 5: End Drug Abuse

How much does it cost to have one drug addict sustain the habit for one day? Vancouver Police believe it is about $500 a day.

That is a lot of money. Does an addict have the ability to earn $150,000 per year? No. That's why it costs more if you understand just how addicts are getting that money.

Last year, I parked my car in a darker part of a street, close to a restaurant our family frequents. I left my Tomtom GPS device in plain view. Big mistake.

When we got back to the car, the passenger side front window was smashed in. Only the GPS and its power cord were missing. Yes, I was really angry and disappointed.

The next day, I left the car at a shop to have the window repaired. My insurance covers all the repairs less a $300 deductible, which I pay. Insurance did not cover the lost contents because they were not integrated in the car.

A door mechanism was destroyed by the force of the blow. That addict must have used a baseball bat. Total repairs cost over $1,050.

So let's do the math:

I lost $300 as my repair deductible, and about $120 for a replacement GPS device.

The insurance company, which is provincially run, lost $750. Actually, all the insurance payees lost that money as part of their insurance premiums.

Total amount paid by me and the insurance company: $1,170.

What did the addict get? He or she "fenced" the GPS for a measley $10-15. Stolen goods are only worth 5-10% of their original costs.

Let's extrapolate these numbers.

The addict needs to steal and fence 20-30 GPS devices a day to maintain his/her addiction. If it costs about $1000 to society to fix the problems created by each robbery, it costs a total of $30,000 a day to keep that addict stoned and happy.

In a year, one addict can cost society up to $10 Million!

If there are 500 addicts in a city, it would cost that city $5 Billion a year!

Economically speaking, addicts cost society a lot. For every dollar a drug pusher gets, society pays $100!

How much does a fix cost? Too much.

My wish today is to end drug abuse once and for all.

Day 4: Friend Me, Sensei?

Wish 4: Live classes

This is about education. It might bore you. Then again, it might not.

A few years ago, I had a teleconference with a university dean and two instructors who were interviewing candidates to spearhead a "Web 2.0" online course delivery.

"What do you think about wikis?" they asked. I said they were good for collaboration and peer discussion, but not for reference. (Simply said, wikis can be used to put together a group paper, but that paper could not be a reliable source for another paper.)

They didn't like that answer. Someone had convinced this bunch that the future of education was online and using social tools. However, nobody told them how to do it.

"How about running a Web 2.0 class?" They continued to ask. "If you mean online classes on tools like Blackboard or WebCT, I've done those." "No," the dean clarified, "I meant on social media. How would you run one?"

That would be an exciting idea. Young people already know how to use social media. They didn't have to learn how to use online learning programs.

I'm all for connecting with friends on social media. But running a class? I paused and replied, "If the tool creates boundaries, such as those in a classroom, then...yes. Otherwise, it is a privacy issue."

Can you just imagine "friending" your instructor and classmates on Facebook? Or writing an exam on Twitter? What would your social network think about when you post status updates related to your class? When the class is over, do you "unfriend" your teacher and classmates?

After a few more questions, I realized they weren't trying to find out if I could do it. They wanted to pick my brain. I did not get that job. And they got valuable ideas for free.

A classroom, physical or online, is a sacred thing. It provides a safe, private space for the students and learning facilitator. It should not be open to the rest of the world. That is why today, only the secure specialized sites are used for education on the Internet. Social media isn't.

Progressive universities are going online to teach courses. These are great for those who have time constraints, such as parents and workers. They also allow persons with mobility problems to meet in an online classroom. But some universities are pushing this too far in an effort to gain market share. Online learning is cheaper to deliver and lucrative.

My wish today is to keep classrooms secure and sacred. I would even go as far as to say - deliver more of the face-to-face classrooms again. Nothing beats the live social interaction.

Day 3: Five Best Christmas Commercials

Wish 3: Great Stories

A commercial, if done well, tells a compelling story in just thirty to sixty seconds. These are my selections for the best Christmas commercials I have seen.

1 Coffee Ad. This first one reminds me of the day my son came home from Africa. We missed him last Christmas.


2 Toys for Tots. Not all kids in America are fortunate to have gifts under the tree.


3 Kay Jewelers. A young family celebrates its first Christmas.



4 Skating Priests. It is a longer (2 minute) commercial that plays like a mini-movie.



5 Tide hand-washing. A Filipino ad where a woman is so engrossed with a radio program while she washes clothes.


Bonus: Bad Dog Ruins Christmas. This is not an ad, but it looks like one.


How about that? Six stories in about six minutes.

My wish is for great stories, told in whatever medium, that make us stop and listen and watch.

UPDATE: December 2011 - The Coca Cola Happiness Project. If you liked the five ads above, get ready to be blown away by this.

Day 2: I, The Mentalist

Wish 2: Childhood Wonder

Today I will amaze you with my powers of mind reading. Try to follow these instructions carefully, and I will predict what you are thinking.

1. Think of a number from 1 to 10.

2. Multiply it by 9.

3. Add up all the digits. For example, if your number is 34, then add 3 and 4 to get 7.

4. Subtract 5 from that number.

5. Convert that number into its equivalent letter. For example, 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc.

6. Think of a country that begins with that letter.

7. Think of an animal that begins with the second letter of that country.

You are thinking of an Elephant.

Oh, I believe you can figure out the secret of that magic trick eventually.

But in the meantime, my wish today is for us, even as adults, to continue to have that childhood wonder.

Day 1: The Happy Death

Wish 1: Closure

The young Filipina took the microphone and started crying. "He always give me money," she said with broken English and an accent, "and he take my picture."

Without the context, this scene looks bad. Actually, it is at a memorial service for the girl’s uncle. He was a photographer who always gave a shiny dollar to every nephew and niece that came to visit his family. All his photos show him with a camera hanging from his neck and surrounded by relatives.

I didn’t know these people, but there I was, listening to bad speeches. The dreadful accents and the sobbing made it so difficult to understand anything.

But the emotions were real. This family was feeling a heavy loss and they were blabbering away in an attempt to express it.

What a year it has been. We have seen many family and friends leave us. My own father passed away last October.

What do you say when someone you care for leaves? How can you articulate the impact of your loved one to you in less than five minutes? Even if you wrote down your speech, I bet you can’t read it straight.

My sister did something great for a eulogy speech. She talked about what was funny about our dad. She got people laughing, just like this funny and touching video clip.

In our faith, at death, you celebrate life. Sure, we will miss our dad, but we fondly recall what endeared us to him.

I just watched an old TV series called Dead Like Me, which follows the activities of grim reapers who look like regular people. In this one episode, they had to put the reaped souls’ data into a database, and decided to sort it by their last thoughts. The last thought is what they were thinking before kicking the bucket. The last thoughts they encoded consisted mostly of regrets (“if only…”), loneliness and the occasional “I’m glad my family will be alright.”

I think these supposedly last thoughts are based on what people go through during memorials. They grieve more if there is unfinished business, or if they couldn’t be there at the last moment. They need to say goodbye in a ritual. Memorials aren’t for the dead. They’re for those left behind.

My wish for today is that those who are left behind find closure, so that they can celebrate life and not mourn death.

Day 12: Day of Reflection

Wish 12: Meaning

We were placed on this Earth to help others. So what are the others supposed to be doing?

Christmas Day abruptly ends days (or weeks) of frantic preparation. It gives us time for pause and reflection.

For my daughter, the day arrives and she feels like it isn't really Christmas. It's just another day though more relaxed than the previous days. For my son in Africa, he is not only homesick but absolutely lost at how no one around puts meaning on this one day. My wife is just glad she can sleep in and relax. For all of us, there is time. Time we didn't have for a long time. And it makes us think.

Aside from celebrating the birth of Christ, what does this day do for you? Our pastor will try again to make this two thousand year old event be relevant to this day. I think the relevance - and meaning - of this day are very personal.

The meaning of Christmas is... and you should fill the blanks. While you're at it, expand your statement to the rest of the year, and the rest of your life. The meaning of it all is...

I wish on Christmas day for everyone to find the meaning of their life. You might not even express it in words, but in a feeling.

Day 11: Almost making it

Wish 11: Solace

It's not the pace of life that bothers me. It's the sudden stop in the end.

While most of us are celebrating the birth of Christ, there are others for which this season brings back sad memories. Death happens all 12 months of the year; when it happens close to Christmas, it just changes the mood, every year.

There is a 600-pound gorilla in the room I've been pretending to ignore. (It's a metaphor, guys.) A business colleague and friend passed away recently, rather suddenly. I was saddened, and I kept on writing here every day.

My friend had suffered for a long time, but didn't let anyone know. She just kept on working on her two advocacies - saving dogs and helping the hard of hearing. Days after she passed, just last night, I found out her secret and her courage to bear the pain of dying.

As we age, we will see more of our friends and family members, including ourselves, go through the trials of health.

My sister wrote me that her Christmas wish was to see a cure for cancer. It has surely taken many of our relatives. We recall how difficult it was for them to take the news, and then to watch it take its toll. We have also had relatives, including my brother, survive cancer; and we are thankful for the extra lease on life.

Why would the good Lord create such a devastating anomalies that we should succumb to, and that the surviving relatives and friends would bear? Someone said cancer is a way to look back at one's life, and to have time to say goodbye. Statistics still show that highest cancer deaths occur at old age. The body's cells stop regenerating properly. What we call dying of old age is likely a cancer-related death.

There are too many parameters to say what we should wish for this or that. Living forever is boring. I can't really wish for a cure for old age... that is part of God's plan to provide fullness and closure in this life. All I can wish for really is to save the little children so that we can benefit from their freshness and promise.

I can also wish for those facing the inevitable - that their final journey is rich and full of love. And I wish for solace for those left behind, and that they cherish all the positive memories of their loved ones every day.

Day 10: A balancing act

Wish 10: Various kinds of balance.

In Christmas 2007, I missed writing for this blog. I wasn't busy really - I just procrastinated.

These were the wishes I was working on, but didn't get around to. It is divided into seven parts, and it is all about balance.

1. Balance my time

Not balancing my time is how I got into posting late in the first place.

When you look at the number of hours in a week, you can break it up into your main activities. You'll find there huge chunks of time spent sleeping, grooming, eating and traveling. Then, you'll have a balance of time spent on different tasks or roles: your job, your family, your friends, studies, entertainment, exercise, etc. The leftover time - your discretionary time - is something you have to decide how to use. Part of that is the "reflection time" I talk about many times in these posts.

Reflection time is good. It is how we further ourselves and mankind. Without reflection time, there could be no art, civilization and progress.

In our busy lives, the nice thing about reflection is that it could be combined with some other time. For example, worship time is also reflection time. You can also use waiting time for that. Caught in a traffic jam, or stuck in a bus - think about things that matter. Exercise and walking the dog time are perfect for reflection too - and that's three things at the same time.

Finally reflection helps relieve stress, which helps us live longer. Find that time for yourself. By writing this, I'm forcing myself to use this time to reflect.

2. Balance perceptions

Two years ago, when Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister announced that she was pregnant and will have her baby, I heard the most heartless comments around. Like, "She's only 16? What is wrong with her?" Also, "I'm not letting my kids watch the show she appears in." And, "What kind of parents do those kids have?" To them I say, give her a break.

Two thousand years ago, Mary, a 16-year-old, told her parents she was pregnant. And she gave birth on Christmas morning. Can you imagine what strong faith everybody had at that time to believe that a young virgin would become the mother of God?

Now consider Jamie Lynn Spears. She could have kept it quiet and had an abortion. Instead, she risked the scorn of her parents and the public. It was a mistake, and she's doing the right thing by keeping the baby. Part of critical thought and opinion is balancing the bad with the good.

3. Balance the checkbook

There are extremists who think money and businesses are evil. They are not inherently evil. When the people handling money and running businesses get greedy, they make profit-making bad.

I make no apologies for trying to make a living. I need money in this earth to feed my family, send my kids to school and have a roof over our heads. When I run a business, I have to hire people, who make their living from my venture.

If in the future I get to earn more than I need, then someone please remind me not to use it for frivolous material goods like flashy cars, jewelry or gambling. I should be giving something back to good causes.

4. Balance demeanor

I wish to always know the right time to be serious, and the rest of the time to smile.

5. Balanced meals

I wish to be sufficiently healthy by eating the right foods and getting exercise.

6. Balanced treatment of others

Someone accused me of being a hypocrite as a Christian. She said that I should only favor fellow Christians - not non-believers when I work with people. Even though I explained that it was simply good etiquette and simple respect for all people, no matter what their religion. She would not have it. She said that's only what politicians do.

Many people are set in their prejudices. This woman wore a badge of self-righteousness. But I am not going to wish that she change her perceptions, for that change may never ever come to pass. I will wish that despite extreme opinions, I will remain tolerant.

7. Balanced use of media

A friend subscribed me to an online forum on wellness. I read the posts and found many interesting topics. One day, one contributor went off-topic, releasing an anti-Christian sensational story more convoluted than the Da Vinci Code. I asked that hate topics be removed from that forum, and got a barrage of messages against me. Accusations of narrowmindedness and defending clergy who abused children were among them.

I reiterated my reasons for the request: (a) the story was based on speculation, not history, (b) it was "Christian-bashing" in general and (c) it was off-topic within the forum. After a few calming messages, tempers cooled. The forum was never the same again. All those members who wrote nasty things reflected on how negative their reactions were in relation to the "wellness" topic. The forum disbanded after six months.

Bashing has become commonplace in social networks. Many teens have contemplated (and commited) suicide due to attacks to their dignity on MySpace sites. Negative hurtful comments and opinions fill the video pages in YouTube. That is the price of freedom of speech.

The medium of Web 2.0 is not the problem, because it simply provides the forum for exchange. For all the benefits social media give to connecting people, these technologies help more than hurt.

Nonetheless, my wish is for a proper use of media that does not degrade the dignity of any individual.

Day 9: Skipping Christmas

Wish 9: My Christmas

Today, another sib and family are flying off to warmer climes. Last Sunday, my brother and his family also rushed out to spend Christmas in Florida. Some good friends are doing the same. "Merry Christmas," they tell me, with a small grin on their faces. I would be a hypocrite to say I'm not jealous.

I'm stuck here because I gotta look after the shop. So are my younger sibs. We're sort of like the 24/7 people whom I mentioned in Day 7. My sister, the doctor, has to be on emergency service on Christmas. We can't all be together on the Eve dinner.

This situation reminds me of the 2001 book of John Grisham, entitled Skipping Christmas. It was turned into a movie Christmas with the Kranks a few years later. In the story, Luther and Nora Krank decide to forego all Christmas festivities and expenditures in favor of a cruise in the Bahamas.

What I like about the story is how commercial and pretentious Christmas had become in modern times. The story portrays shops that presume that the Kranks will reorder things from greeting cards to Christmas trees, and then are shocked to hear that they would not order this year. Friends are already planning to be at their house for Christmas Eve, and are dismayed that no festivities are planned. Even neighbors are in arms because Luther won't put up tacky and audacious lights on the house.

The peer pressure to look and act Christmassy is something I dislike.

Christmas at my parent's home varied from year to year. Most years, we decked the halls, and lighted up a tree. On one particular year when business was bad, there were no decorations - no tree. The tree came to symbolize a relatively good year. More donations to charity also coincided with the tree. But the one thing we never miss year after year is the church service.

At the end of the story, the Kranks learn something valuable about family and tradition. But it falls short because the pretentiousness is not lost - it is just delayed until the next Christmas season.

I've thought about skipping Christmas in the past few years. The season can get expensive with all the expectations on us. And I can't help but question how the ostentation relates to the birth of Christ.

My wish this year is for my own customized Christmas - a celebration that my family and I feel comfortable with - a celebration that I am not pressured to produce. And for my Christmas, I would love to have my sibs join us for dinner, church and gathering around the tree.

Day 8: Love you forever

Wish 8: Bottle Great Memories

Down in the basement, there are 3, maybe 4 boxes filled with school projects, test papers and knick-knacks that our grown up kids built. They're taking up valuable space in my office.

Every time I ask my wife to join me in a campaign to rid the basement of unneeded clutter, the same thing happens. When she gets to those boxes, she pauses to look at the pile and sighs. At that point, the campaign is over. The boxes go back into the stack they came from. She cannot find it in her heart to throw out anything that reminds her of the innocent years.

I, too, have a big project I may never get around to doing. I have about 40 hours of home videos that need to be converted to DVD. We have also reduced the number of photo frames around the house, but it still looks cluttered.

Items that help us remember are all over the house. I have stopped making excuses for that clutter when visitors arrive. I lie about it, "we're renovating. He he."

At this point, I was going to wish for - perfect memory (with an echo)! Wouldn't it be great if I could just access my own memories on command. For example: "Ah, yes. At 1340H on March 16, 1988, Mike plugged a rosary into the wall outlet, flew back from the huge shock that fused the rosary parts together. No injuries, but my wife still ran around in tears while carrying him. Still don't know how the kid got past the socket protector. Our inebriated neighbor offered to drive us to the hospital, and naturally we declined. A scary moment, but memorable. Sigh."

Perfect memory also has its pitfalls. If we remember everything, we could be storing details that are not important: "I remember there was a dime on the floor, and the cat scratcher commercial was on TV."

Also, we need to forget certain things, like bad blood and arguments that were resolved. No, I am not going to wish for (run the echo machine here again) - perfect memory!

What I really wish for is a way to bottle our most cherished memories. And then recall them in moments of reflection (I've already wished for that on Day 10 of the 12 Wishes of Christmas in 2006).

Thank you, sis, for the wish idea.

--o--

While on this topic, I want to mention an excellent children's book that is also for adults. If you haven't heard of it, it is called Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. He wrote the book to remember his two stillborn babies. I bought one for my wife and one for my mother. It has already sold 15 million copies.

Day 7: 24/7

Wish 7: Rest

It's the last few days before Christmas and Wal-Mart nearby is open 24 hours. I am tempted to go to Wal-Mart in my pajamas at 3:00 in the morning just to be sure they're really doing it.

We all already know the term 24/7 - to refer to 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Some businesses emphasize 365 days a year too. When young executives use that term, they are signaling that they are dedicated. They punctuate it with "110%" dedication, as if it existed. (In the Czech Republic, 24/7 stores are called "non-stop" stores.)

Many businesses don't need to be that way. Even if websites can serve and take orders anytime of day, there is automation that will handle certain tasks. Clients are willing to wait a few hours after an online transaction to hear from a real person. So, most businesses want to be 24/7 because they want to meet all their target clients' time needs.

Some services we take for granted are also 24/7. However, these services are needed. Ambulatory services for example. The fire department, the police and emergency services are all 24/7. Utility companies have to ensure the reliable and safe deliver of power, water and natural gas. The military and armed forces have to keep watch for threats, or fight a war.

My parish church is the first in British Columbia, Canada to start a 24/7 service. Following the scripture where Christ asked his apostles, "could you not wait with me an hour?", our parish started a 24 hour a day vigil of the Blessed Sacrament. It doesn't get much publicity, but it has been going on for close to a decade. In fact, my sister will be there at 11:00-12:00midnight on Christmas Eve.

My thoughts are for all those people who are watching for us and serving us even when we take a day off to celebrate the birth of Christ. For the doctors, nurses, military, police, security guards, parishioners in a vigil, and those caring for others, I wish them rest at some point in this Yuletide Season. God so loves those who look after things for everyone else 24/7 that he announced the birth of Christ to shepherds first.

God rest ye Gentlemen and Ladies who serve us 24/7.

Day 6: The man who saved Christmas

Wish 6: Faith

My daughter couldn't help but wonder why Christmas traditions are the way they are. She's 13 and she feels gypped.

She asked me why it is okay to let a fat man in through the chimney in the middle of the night ... and even serve him milk and cookies. Also, why do people cut down trees, bring them indoors and then throw them out? Finally, why do movies portray "saving Christmas" as helping Santa deliver his gifts to all the good boys and girls.

Here is a true story. There was a guy whose situation was so weird, he felt gypped at first. But without him, Christmas would not have happened.

A middle aged construction worker has a 16-year old girlfriend. (Isn't that an offense?) Then, she finds out she is pregnant and not by her boyfriend. She is frightened to let her boyfriend know. She goes to visit and hide at her 50-year-old cousin's who also happens to be pregnant. (This is getting bizarre.)

Finally, she has the courage to go back home. Her pregnancy shows. Her parents are livid. They try to hide her. Her boyfriend finds out and is outraged. What should her boyfriend do?

Against reasonableness, the boyfriend marries the 16-year old girl.

By now, you have figured out that you been reading the story of Joseph the carpenter.

Joseph could have left Mary and her family to suffer shame and humiliation from a "virgin conception". Worse, in those days, pregnant women who were not married were stoned to death!

You can think that Joseph wanted to save Mary from humiliation or death, so he did the noble thing. But the real reason was even as weird as the immaculate conception.

He was told what to do in a dream. And he believed! What a leap of faith!

He went on to love Mary and dedicate his life protecting Mary and Jesus. Without Joseph, Mary would have been stoned to death. Without Joseph, Mary would not have made it to Bethlehem to give birth.

St. Joseph the carpenter saved Christmas.

When we read this story without the context of the scriptures, and it sounds too unusual to be true. The situation and characters defy reasonableness, they could be featured in a talk show.

But since we know it is the story of Mary and Joseph, we accept the weirdness. It is part of our faith.

Today, I give thanks and recognition to a fellow father and a caring husband. His actions form part of our faith, and contributed to the raising of the Saviour of the World. A billion and a half people around the world celebrate Christmas because of him.

Here's to Joseph. And my wish is for us to keep our faith.

Day 5: Lessons my mistakes taught me

Wish 5: Learning from mistakes

Most of my siblings and I are great at wrapping Christmas gifts. It comes from having a huge family. Every Christmas eve, we exchanged gifts. And as the family grew, it took later and later into the evening to begin opening presents.

How we got good at wrapping is practice, and learning from mistakes. When you have to wrap 14 gifts in one hour, you are under a lot of pressure. In the earlier Christmases, those gifts look like they were kicked around in a post office. Later, the folds and lines got cleaner. Today, adding ribbons and bows is second nature to us. It took a lot of Christmases to get to here. Luckily, everyone forgave the earlier mistakes; after all, a gift is still a gift.

In 2005, Day 8 of this Blog, I talked about a P&G maintenance manager who made a huge costly mistake. However, he didn't get fired. He was told, "We just spent a lot of money on your education. Why would we fire you?"

Today, my daughter submitted a project paper. I knew it would not get the best grade because I am also an instructor who grades papers. Instead of fixing it for her (which was against my wife's wishes), I let her finish her own paper.

Two things come about from this situation. First, we are letting our daughter make a mistake. Hopefully she will learn from it. We cannot be there always to bail our kids out. I believe people learn from failure, not from success. So what if it means a lower grade? Life is not about the scorecards.

The second thing is that she will own the mistake, the lesson, and eventually her successes. This does great things for one's self-esteem.

If you think successful people never make mistakes, you're in for a surprise. The most successful leaders not only learn from mistakes, they take responsibility. They are accountable. They even take the blame for the mistakes of their subordinates. And then, they rise above it.

The title of one inspiring book tells it all: "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and other Steppingstones to Success" (Tallfellow Press). This video provides an overview and lessons we can learn from successful people's failures.

My wish is not necessarily to make mistakes. Those will happen without encouragement.

My wish is that we are surrounded by people who do not think less of us for our mistakes, and that we can learn from failure.

Day 4: Chain around the world

Wish 4: Stop Chain Letters

OK, a lot of you won't like what I'm about to wish here. You probably already took me out of your "forward to" mailing list. That's because over the past decade, I've been shooting down chain letters.

Guys, this is for your own good: Stop forwarding chain letters.

You know what they look like. They have the message "forward this to your friends..." at the end. Sometimes, it includes the dire warning "...or else!..."

I've heard your reasoning. You say, hey, what's the harm. You say, I've got nothing to lose. You also say, I'm doing you a favor. But as long as it asks you to forward the message as part of the message, it is a chain letter that is playing on your emotions.

What emotions are these? Here are just a few. Empathy is one. Just recently, a chain letter went out regarding a child who was going to have his last Christmas alive. Over 25,000 people responded with greeting cards and money. It's 2009, and still so many people fell for this hoax. This story is over two decades old, and just gets rehashed.

How about fear? If you don't forward this email, bad luck will follow you. Come on. The worst thing that has happened is that the sender was inconsiderate enough to give you this fear over nothing. You should politely tell your sender that you are not superstitious.

The Guilt Chain Letter is my number 1 enemy. The worst letters I've read say that you are not a good Christian, or a good parent, or a good neighbor, or even a good human being, if you don't forward the chain letter. The letter even has a few inspiring pictures, or a prayer. You're hooked because you like those messages... up to the point where non-action will lead to poor self worth.

Remember that for every chain letter you come across, there was a crafty author who wants to see how far around the world this new hoax will travel.

When is a letter not a chain letter? When you send it to someone without any call for action to forward it. If there is a message you like to send someone, just send it without the last command, "Please forward this to..." That last sentence ruins it for me, even though I know the sender wants to wish me well.

Wish 4 is an end to all chain letters. Yes, all chain letters. If you send a message, don't ask to forward it. Let that decision be the receiver's.

"Chain Mail International" is an award-winning short film parodying the chain letter. Have a look at it at www.chainmailinternational.com

Before you go, I want you to forward this blog to 10 friends within the next 14 seconds. Otherwise you are a naughty person whom Santa will not give a gift to this year, and your body will be covered in Tazmanian warts within 24 hours.

Day 3: US Recovery = World Recovery

Wish 3: Recovery

When I wrote this blog last year, some of my topics included the gloom over the economic downturn. It has been a challenging year for businesses, small and large. And even though this is a blog of hope and positivity, I've always believed in facing the brutal facts of the current situation.

I live in Canada. There is an unspoken resentment among many Canadians that the Americans (especially those who bash their timid neighbors in the North) deserve what is happening to them. Even though Canadian systems provided better controls over borrowing from the start, the U.S. mortgage crisis was just too heavy a burden, it affected money supply around the world. So, there are many Canadians who secretly mutter blame at America for the recession in Canada and the rest of the world.

Americans lost their jobs by the millions in 2009. At 10% unemployment, one in ten families is rethinking how Christmas will be celebrated. And here is a disturbing figure.

About a quarter of those unemployed are about to lose their unemployment benefits by the end of 2009. They have not been able to find jobs in a whole year, no matter how well they followed the hundreds of thousands of tips on finding jobs.

If about 1.5 million working adults are about to drop off the map by the New Year, will they no longer be counted as unemployed? Will unemployment figures be rosier, but not so in reality? It is difficult to fathom so many families just living off their last savings until there is none. That will stall recovery.

I suggest that we look at the current reality and move forward. Blaming is unproductive and backward facing. I firmly believe that a U.S.A. recovery is a world recovery. The key to recovery is jobs creation, and America needs it now. Increase in spending will increase economic activity everywhere, and there is nowhere to go but positive growth.

My wish for today is the other "R" word: Recovery.

Day 2: The only one we've got

Wish 2: Progress

"All I want for Christmas is my planet back."

That could well be our children's Christmas wish in 20 years. Unless there is progress at the climate change talks in Copenhagen.

Let's wish for progress. Not in terms of increasing the consumption of our scarce natural resources, but in discussing how we can save the only world we know.