Day 11: Just the Way You Are

Wish 11: The Right Perception of Beauty

If only everybody was born handsome and beautiful. That will change everybody's perception of beauty. No more plastic surgery. No more crash diets.

As a teen, my wife used to read fashion magazines. She is still perhaps the most elegantly dressed person I know, using her clothes wisely and knowing how to buy for the right value. But those same fashion magazines started changing the way we view beauty. They tell us how slim we should be. They show us flawless complexion, enhanced curves, and other things we have to pay an arm and a leg for. For that reason, she doesn't read those magazines anymore.

So, as our kids grow up, they get the wrong impressions about beauty. The reason Jonbenet Ramsey's death was celebrated was because of her stature as a beauty pageant contestant. When children are given a chance to choose from two teachers with the same qualifications, the prettier one is considered more intelligent and nicer. The more handsome and taller you are, the higher your salary - a study proves that. We seem to perceive beauty is better.

But pretty does not necessarily mean better. Recently, Miss USA was caught partying and drinking even though she is not old enough to drink alcohol. Donald Trump makes a questionable decision to let her keep her crown because she apologized. It's good that he can forgive, but his moral authority is questioned by Rosie O'Donnell. He then shoots back that Rosie is a slob. Though I don't favor Donald or Rosie over the other, I'm afraid Trump just confirmed our wrong perception about beauty and good: the partying beauty queen is forgivable, but the heavy-set critic is a slob. Rosie was talking about moral authority. Donald was talking about appearances.

A Dove commercial illustrates how the illusion of billboard beauty is created. There is no denying that my wife or my mom or my sister cannot possibly put enough makeup in under 10 minutes every morning to look that great. The goalposts of perceived beauty are too high.

My wish is for people to learn that beauty is not skin-deep. If men don't like the idea that a woman will try to change them into something they're not, then men should not expect women to look like someone they cannot achieve.

I take back what I said in my first sentence. Everyone is born beautiful. Only our perceptions make people ugly.