Day 1: Waking Up in the Middle of the Night

Wish 1: Calm

I woke up just before 5:00am last Sunday morning.

I had no intention of waking up that early. I was not startled awake, nor did I sweat. But I saw in my head a series of images and thoughts like a DVD playing on fast speed.

First I thought about my brother who passed away three years ago. A feeling of loss immediately followed that mental image.

Then I thought about another brother who needs medical attention. Then, I wondered how my parents are doing back in the old country. I peeked at the digital clock. It ominously showed "4:44". Why am I worrying?

Then, my thoughts immediately drifted to my young venture. What was I thinking when I bought into this business at this unusual time in world economy? I was worried about the bleeding of cash and the next source of credit.

This uneasiness in the middle of the night is going on in millions of North American households. Close to one and a half million Americans have recently lost their jobs. Countless businesses are not making payroll. Confidence is at a low.

By then, I was wide awake. As these negative thoughts rush through my head, I continue to be on a roll. I should have been depressed. But something stopped me.

It was a voice in my head. It was my own voice - very vivid. The last time I heard it this way was 16 years ago as I uprooted my family from another country. The voice said the same four words: "Everything will be alright."

A feeling of calm took over me. I was no longer afraid.

Why do we wake up in the middle of the night worried? Psychologists consider this a symptom of depression. But author and public speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer believes it is the call of "the Source", his term for all references to God or a supreme being. He may be right. There are many stories in the Bible where God calls on his people in the middle of their sleep.

So, I believe the reason for waking up in the middle of the night is to listen for a message. But what is the message? What does God want to tell me? What do my thoughts on overdrive give insight to?

If my message was of calm, God sure chose to create a storm before delivering it. I will not conclude that this is the message. But whatever the voice - my voice - told me seems to be just that.

Relaxed, my new demeanor was interrupted by a snore. I looked over to my wife who was fast asleep. And I knew where my priorities should always be. Within minutes, I was also asleep.

Three hours later, and wide awake, I was in church with my daughter. Like tradition, during the homily, she put her hand over mine just to see how much bigger her hand has grown. That moment is precious. That is our moment of calm.

My first wish for Christmas is calm. Calm will help us weather the storms, and bring back confidence. Calm communicates to our loved ones that there is more to life than the rough patches we go through. Calm is the mood of this Yuletide season.